~ Soundless Sleep..

Today, Sunday, 24th October 2010.

And I’m not working on this day!

 

Wuh, just wonder is there somewhere I would like to go.

Actually, just not ‘feeling very well’..

Just really feel…

 

Bad..

 

Starts from the day of Saturday..

It’s worsen, more..

 

Finally, she is married. My little sister.

I had no present for her.

One day before I went back, just make decision. No gift.

Just don’t want to mention the marriage again.

And how am I behave there.

 

I only stay home for about not more than six hours.

Not more or less.

Uh.

 

I knew that it is not right thing to do.

But, where the hell, the comforts of being at home had gone?

I just wanted to run away..

 

I feel guilty as I didn’t stay home a little more longer.

I should spend a night there at least.

 

Yep. A night. Why would not I ?

Just wonder until now. Perhaps, that not a good children I am now.

Who’s on the earth that will leave their parents?

It’s just happen to be me now~

An akuma me~

 

After about six month haven’t met my mother.

I’m in tears.

Finally, she is there. In front of me.

Just so taihen, for not crying in front of her.

But, I just couldn’t make myself to hug her.

So bad, me again.

 

Just remembered, her last cooks for me.

Long time had passed..

Frankly, I missed it so much~

 

After, handed the salary that I earned & the kitchen utensil I bought from IKEA.

I left.

And ride the train back.

 

So..

I just so in tears..

Flooded with my own tears..

 

Somebody just text me..

She just back from “Retail Therapy”..

 

Therapy?

I wanted a therapy also.

In case, it can help me to slow down the “flood”.

 

So, ride the monorail to Times Sq..

 

In every ways to find therapy..

Just found nothing..

Exhausted..

Hungry..

and

nothing to amuse me~

 

Found nothing to bring me..any joy

 

..

Until Sunday I begin to recover..

 

By the soundless sleep..

The Tiredness..

The Back Pain..

The “Flood”..

 

Wants to get rid of them..

 

 

Soundless sleep..

 

As I need them..

~

 

Just feel better when my mother handed me some food to brought back..

Yaah!

It feel nice when have mother to give you some food ne~

..

I can just recover with the foods she gave me~

 

Today..

I eat the “ Rendang” she give as my breakfast, lunch & dinner.

It’s just quite a lot.

And I want to finish it by myself only. No sharing.

 

Later then,

I just managed to text her,

I want to go back next month & expecting her cooks for me.

 

Um..

I want to sleep with her.

Laying myself beside her. Missed to be near her.

 

I could not stop my tears when writing this post.

Such emotional me.

And acting like a little child.

I just wish I’m still a little child.

My age can’t help me to be a grown-up girl.

 

 

Sore kara~

To stop this emo.

Ja na..

Want to eat the “Rendang” once again.

Even, it’s already 10pm now & it considered as dinner time for me~

I’ll make sure the Rendang will be finished now..

~Yummy..

 

Fully recovered~~ Myehunn

( ^ _ ^ ) V

~More & more freaking

Just a past few weeks ago, have no interest in blogging.

Rarely on-line.

For 2 weeks straight workdays.

I’m totally exhausted.

As usual, my off & planning of going home.

Sometime, just miss the feeling of “Yokatta, I’m already at home finally.”

Just couldn’t bear miss to say those words even for once now.

But, it’s just not turned out as those words sound really.

As ever, I’m freaking..

Now..

Had to face this..

My little Sis is getting married.

Freaking of the thought, what kind of future waiting for her.

Frankly I just don’t like the whole family of the ‘jerk’.

Hate it!

It’s really annoy me all day to think bout.

I am really paranoid of my peoples.

They are not what I can see through..kowai.

Sometime, miss my mother too much.

Once ago, I have no thought of living like this.

Just like a little kids, I want her be around me all the time.

Even though now.

When the winds kind of blowing the “missing kimochi” to me even when I’m working & busy with work.

Its brought the “feeling of empty”.

As I had nothing.

Nothing.

Its just so-called as LONELYNESS maybe?

MORE FREAKING..

Because, sometimes it’s just hurt somewhere.

Tears.

 

Missing.

 

Worries.

 

Losing.

 

I’m feel quite emotional today.

 

Wish I could stand this & be strong.

 

All along this period, I just feel want to attend the Convocation which will be held on  December.

Not sure what the reason is.

Maybe, the monsoon in my head blowing into it.

 

Bout, my sister. It’s really taihen to accept the fact. I just feel wanted to get this away from my thought as far as I could.

Hate it. It’s just hurts. Nothing more. Tearing me with more pain.

Freaking me..

Uh.

 

Its already 3.00am. Had to work tomorrow.

 

Ja.

 

By the way, I’m changing new layout again. Not completely done yet. As usual, more frequent on changing layout than writing a post.

 

Feel better now~

 

Oyasumi..