~More & more freaking

Just a past few weeks ago, have no interest in blogging.

Rarely on-line.

For 2 weeks straight workdays.

I’m totally exhausted.

As usual, my off & planning of going home.

Sometime, just miss the feeling of “Yokatta, I’m already at home finally.”

Just couldn’t bear miss to say those words even for once now.

But, it’s just not turned out as those words sound really.

As ever, I’m freaking..

Now..

Had to face this..

My little Sis is getting married.

Freaking of the thought, what kind of future waiting for her.

Frankly I just don’t like the whole family of the ‘jerk’.

Hate it!

It’s really annoy me all day to think bout.

I am really paranoid of my peoples.

They are not what I can see through..kowai.

Sometime, miss my mother too much.

Once ago, I have no thought of living like this.

Just like a little kids, I want her be around me all the time.

Even though now.

When the winds kind of blowing the “missing kimochi” to me even when I’m working & busy with work.

Its brought the “feeling of empty”.

As I had nothing.

Nothing.

Its just so-called as LONELYNESS maybe?

MORE FREAKING..

Because, sometimes it’s just hurt somewhere.

Tears.

 

Missing.

 

Worries.

 

Losing.

 

I’m feel quite emotional today.

 

Wish I could stand this & be strong.

 

All along this period, I just feel want to attend the Convocation which will be held on  December.

Not sure what the reason is.

Maybe, the monsoon in my head blowing into it.

 

Bout, my sister. It’s really taihen to accept the fact. I just feel wanted to get this away from my thought as far as I could.

Hate it. It’s just hurts. Nothing more. Tearing me with more pain.

Freaking me..

Uh.

 

Its already 3.00am. Had to work tomorrow.

 

Ja.

 

By the way, I’m changing new layout again. Not completely done yet. As usual, more frequent on changing layout than writing a post.

 

Feel better now~

 

Oyasumi..